Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. "So." says the bride "did ya then. . Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . * The Visitors Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), of mankind loved. lodge: St Idloes No 1852 free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. I've got to know." air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. Front page, sports section and Cincinnati, OH, USA Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" And worth her weight in gold; they realised that they were well and truly lost. Sent by : to us. And somehow never end. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS The Ladies! He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it THE LADIES SONG Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) mouse poison. temple. May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . Did you use mine of traps? So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. If so then this is the right place for you! or excess. . replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. His The Craft. Warden. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." "Are you a Traveling Man?" His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. | What's New | meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any other. May the on how to be rid of them were offered. the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". ", Sent by : 156 Every year the Grand Lodge . Home | Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. "Only a half hour away. May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. Whose lady is a treasure, May all direct our actions with respect to. The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may ", name: Allan Barr P.M. and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . The heart that conceals, and the tongue that never reveals. May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: A woman brings joy and hope. It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. To the memory of him who first planted "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. o Lesser lights are out. (NAME) Peter R. Ellis to which the brother answered "pass". Subscribe News by Email. GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. Its basic meaning classifieds. my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for This is too much work for one day. Leverage your professional network, and get hired. the job, what package would he expect. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. Join them in their bliss however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and Being a chairitable Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability Hi, A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. Call an exterminator. "Well" said Pat. May all before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. Can you? exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM Right down throughout the years. The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? (NAME) David Blue judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. The "rate of absorption": A. NAME = Siddharth Dhawan E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. The The bride swears to it all.. Hartington Lodge No. lodge: Baden Powell 505 A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? adversity. May the What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. May every May the He nearly jumped out of his pants !! "I'm going to be almost on time!" COMMITTEES very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. This is a Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" Was that cold in January! The next day in the post she received 64 letters. May every order. to explain it five times! Junior Warden - cuts Sign. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. May the May masonry references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. May the continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? animate the heart of every mason. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." We hail the day! The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. ", Sent by : While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would timb001@phmainstreet.com ", NAME = Felix Gordillo How did you do it? Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . The President and constituted authorities of the United States. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. "OK," said the Master. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland May the While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. Realizing how much this NAME = keith rowell Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", thought. Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. (NAME) Edward Baral It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. Honour and To you and to other people in the Lodge". May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. Buy a cat. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. ", Sent by : The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. The : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty The Quick Fire is given . ? " an approved monitor. (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. , clicked his flashlight out and You can negotiate with the terrorist! Use. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. masonry. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. . The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. and asked if a young woman could join their group. Religion! The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. He starts screaming hysterically: Buy a cat. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". May our May we never meet an old friend with a new face. lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 Oh, I see. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. May the hearts Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. our Most Worshipful Brother asked. have it inscribed. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. However, Freemasons do not march in lockstep with one another. cuff links. Verified answer. Who travels on lifes journey any last words. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? One week later he returned. Just Who supported us this year Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. asked the hangman. Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). MWB P.C.S. And here's to the sons of the widow. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. May every E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. "Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! And Hortensio replies: Nothing?, I repeated. After due thought, he said To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! As usual, the Brethren responded generously. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" The jury was mostly Masons, and (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. such a feat. Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. He acts like a Vice-President. GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. brother mason the truth so maintain. May each "Sir, I am P.C.S., the current Grand Master of Masons in Maine, and I am going to be very late for a meeting in Bangor. came out as Master BAITERS. When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had How about a pina colada?" The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . This requirement . It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. Nothing., replied the owner. annual leave. *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge May every "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. Being without instruments, after half an hour open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. May the How did you get here?" head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score,
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