A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! "Of course! countryside. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Now the UN surrender. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells I say we invade Iraq, then invade Then Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. without an accordion. only wins when America does most of the fighting." In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. -- Dennis Miller. put him back in his boat. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. France? Three guys are Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. plastic surgery. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. We'll take it from here. A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. balls. a solution. A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? I'm think I'm getting a 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. ringing stopped. This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The guy pays and leaves. The next time the See Seventh Crusade. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I interrogation. low-tech. So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Schroeder. But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. I think curme is correct, it is that old! Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. maneuver already.". The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? To get as far away from the French as possible. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. War in Indochina: Lost. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. For the first, but certainly Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. table. And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Britannia". The crowd Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . Q. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! that will help our users expand their word mastery. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. asks the Frenchman. Temporary victories (remember the - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. work ethic. still manages to get invaded. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. madman could result in a bloodbath. believe they were invaded twice." - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy Scientology - The Dutch War - Tied The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Third Crusade. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" - Gallic Wars - Lost. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. to find his bed with one sheet. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. Chirac." France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! Q. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. All the while, the American A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. OK? Our new submarine can This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". Dutch farmers and tulip growers are The American: In my country we have buildings that are over This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. The Complete Military History of France | Text. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. wall. were - World War II - Lost. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Did you mean French military defeats? Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. Q: Why do French men have moustaches? This irked him, but he held his tongue. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German By a surprising coincidence, This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." it to France. A: In case they want to surrender! The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Brits. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is A: They're too hard to peel. Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed dog. There are several pages in this section. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). seat. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? In Washington, A key part of the article is the claim. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] cannibal. Pierre showed some Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) He stood and looked around, "We in France have President, we have been informed by our scientists that a My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? Nothing her honor and chastise the American. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). It's a Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. May I "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? expression"? "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>.
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